Most average looking guys have great difficulty meeting women because they feel self-conscious and build up a lot of anxiety when they have to go over and speak to them. Attractiveness is a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you don't expect women to like you, chances are they won't!
So the first thing you must do when deciding to speak to women is to find a mindset that will allow you to overcome anxiety. When wanting to speak to women you shouldn't be focused on how fast she will brush you off, you should just be curious to know what that particular interaction has to teach you.
Your attitude towards women in general needs to change. Do not base the female sex solely on the few disastrous times you attempted to talk to one of them. Clubs and bars are no place to have a conversation with a woman or get to know her anyway. Besides, women or girls in clubs are probably the reason you have a low self image of yourself anyway because they are (probably) shallow and couldn't be bothered to get to know you anyway, so forget about that.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Once again, and this is actually important, do not attempt to engage in conversation with a woman by doing the boring chit chat thing. Steer clear of topics like weather, sport, the news, religion and definitely sex and exes. Not only will this be the equivalent of a dash of ice water down her back, but also a complete shutdown emotionally on her part, with zero success at resuscitation on your part. If possible, quietly, and unobtrusively, listen to her talking to her fiends if she has any around at the function, party, whatever. Listen and learn about what women talk about and really get passionate about (emotion again) when talking amongst themselves, will give you an edge and the perfect way to actually get in there and talk to her without feeling like a complete moron. This will more than likely open the door for you to ask for her number, and get it!
Once you have her number, you more than likely are assured of at least one date, maybe two. Score one for the average looking dude! Seriously though, that's a step in the right direction and directly into a few more dates with a few more ladies. It's awesome practice, so keep at it. Now then once you have her number, what the hell are you supposed to do now? Call? If so, when? Text her? All or none of the above? Good question. There is no right or wrong answer, because every woman is different. Start with a call a couple days later and set up a date. Once you have accomplished that, start texting her. Be nice and keep it clean or you will blow it. You need to get to know her a lot better before you start sending her what you think are sexy texts. You really should know what makes her hot before going down that road!
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
Try not to text more than once a day and don't be overly diligent in answering her. Women will try to see if they can control you and if they discover they can you will lose ground. Rather have her upset at you because you haven't answered her latest text message than give her the feeling that she can control your life. If you send her a message and she doesn't answer, do not send her another message later in the day. There is nothing worse than sending her silly and boring messages by the dozen!
Another thing you certainly want to avoid is being known as the clown. Don't try and be cute and funny by sending her a bunch of cute and/or funny texts, unless they really ARE cute/funny, and appropriate. This will depend on where you are in the relationship.
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
So the first thing you must do when deciding to speak to women is to find a mindset that will allow you to overcome anxiety. When wanting to speak to women you shouldn't be focused on how fast she will brush you off, you should just be curious to know what that particular interaction has to teach you.
Your attitude towards women in general needs to change. Do not base the female sex solely on the few disastrous times you attempted to talk to one of them. Clubs and bars are no place to have a conversation with a woman or get to know her anyway. Besides, women or girls in clubs are probably the reason you have a low self image of yourself anyway because they are (probably) shallow and couldn't be bothered to get to know you anyway, so forget about that.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Once again, and this is actually important, do not attempt to engage in conversation with a woman by doing the boring chit chat thing. Steer clear of topics like weather, sport, the news, religion and definitely sex and exes. Not only will this be the equivalent of a dash of ice water down her back, but also a complete shutdown emotionally on her part, with zero success at resuscitation on your part. If possible, quietly, and unobtrusively, listen to her talking to her fiends if she has any around at the function, party, whatever. Listen and learn about what women talk about and really get passionate about (emotion again) when talking amongst themselves, will give you an edge and the perfect way to actually get in there and talk to her without feeling like a complete moron. This will more than likely open the door for you to ask for her number, and get it!
Once you have her number, you more than likely are assured of at least one date, maybe two. Score one for the average looking dude! Seriously though, that's a step in the right direction and directly into a few more dates with a few more ladies. It's awesome practice, so keep at it. Now then once you have her number, what the hell are you supposed to do now? Call? If so, when? Text her? All or none of the above? Good question. There is no right or wrong answer, because every woman is different. Start with a call a couple days later and set up a date. Once you have accomplished that, start texting her. Be nice and keep it clean or you will blow it. You need to get to know her a lot better before you start sending her what you think are sexy texts. You really should know what makes her hot before going down that road!
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
Try not to text more than once a day and don't be overly diligent in answering her. Women will try to see if they can control you and if they discover they can you will lose ground. Rather have her upset at you because you haven't answered her latest text message than give her the feeling that she can control your life. If you send her a message and she doesn't answer, do not send her another message later in the day. There is nothing worse than sending her silly and boring messages by the dozen!
Another thing you certainly want to avoid is being known as the clown. Don't try and be cute and funny by sending her a bunch of cute and/or funny texts, unless they really ARE cute/funny, and appropriate. This will depend on where you are in the relationship.
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
About the Author:
We are an entirely 3rd party and independent overview internet site which has actually checked out the good and bad points of messaging for dating. For our assessment on the Magnetic Messaging book go to our website; magneticmessagingreviewer.com