It's inevitable that those of us who are married are going to experience marriage troubles from time to time. The arguments will come, some of them insignificant and silly, and others can be quite troubling. And, you know all of those perfect marriages that we think our friends have? Well, they're not. Sure, they may have good marriages that are fulfilling, but not perfect. None are. However, you may be in a situation where your relationship is really struggling. The question is, how bad is it struggling and what do we do if we need help? Do we need marriage counseling or couples therapy?
Let me quickly offer some questions that you might want to ask of yourself. Do you find that the level of the disagreements with your spouse are more intense and occur more frequently? Have you begun to drift apart as if your were living separate lives much of the time? Are you experiencing any kind of sexual problems that you haven't had before in your marriage? Are either of you thinking about a divorce? Or, perhaps maybe you have already started working toward getting a divorce?
If these are some characteristics of your relationship you probably are in the place to seek couples therapy or marriage counseling, whatever you want to call it. I want to offer 4 things for you to think about.
1. Admit that your marriage relationship is bad enough that is needs some type of intervention. The problem is that too many couples think that these things are just normal marriage stuff - no big deal. Or, perhaps they think it's just a phase they're going through. They rationalize the problems saying that everyone has them and things will get better. However, as the couple procrastinates, the relationship deteriorates further.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Go ahead and start researching people, places, and materials that might lead you to the greatest source of counsel. Just remember that not all good counselors or therapists are great marriage counselors. Find someone who specializes in marriage counseling and has a great reputation in that field. Some people choose to use their minister, and that is fine. However, make sure that they have appropriate couples counseling experience. check around. Ask questions. find the right person. You need the right resources, counselor, therapist, clergyman, or in today's world there are some great online resources.
4. Take action. Here are some options to consider. A) Make an appointment with a highly trained therapist, counselor, or clergyman. B) Don't make any long term relationships decisions too quickly, C) Consider some of the online resources that are now available. D) Remember that there is much hope! Countless troubled marriages do heal and become healthy in time. Certainly there are situations of abuse, mental issues, or other things that may not be reconciled. However, the average marriage problems can be helped and it's so very possible that your marriage can make it. Don't give up. Grow old together with your spouse as a part of a happy and healthy marriage.
Let me quickly offer some questions that you might want to ask of yourself. Do you find that the level of the disagreements with your spouse are more intense and occur more frequently? Have you begun to drift apart as if your were living separate lives much of the time? Are you experiencing any kind of sexual problems that you haven't had before in your marriage? Are either of you thinking about a divorce? Or, perhaps maybe you have already started working toward getting a divorce?
If these are some characteristics of your relationship you probably are in the place to seek couples therapy or marriage counseling, whatever you want to call it. I want to offer 4 things for you to think about.
1. Admit that your marriage relationship is bad enough that is needs some type of intervention. The problem is that too many couples think that these things are just normal marriage stuff - no big deal. Or, perhaps they think it's just a phase they're going through. They rationalize the problems saying that everyone has them and things will get better. However, as the couple procrastinates, the relationship deteriorates further.
2. Go ahead and agree with your spouse that the fear of embarrassment will not stop you from taking steps to get help. It's okay. Many people seek counseling every day. You shouldn't be embarrassed by such a wise decision as getting marriage counseling. It's the smart thing. Plus, the people you might worry about finding out are usually having problems of their own that you don't know about! Don't let the fear of shame or being embarrassed you from a happy marriage.
3. Go ahead and start researching people, places, and materials that might lead you to the greatest source of counsel. Just remember that not all good counselors or therapists are great marriage counselors. Find someone who specializes in marriage counseling and has a great reputation in that field. Some people choose to use their minister, and that is fine. However, make sure that they have appropriate couples counseling experience. check around. Ask questions. find the right person. You need the right resources, counselor, therapist, clergyman, or in today's world there are some great online resources.
4. Take action. Here are some options to consider. A) Make an appointment with a highly trained therapist, counselor, or clergyman. B) Don't make any long term relationships decisions too quickly, C) Consider some of the online resources that are now available. D) Remember that there is much hope! Countless troubled marriages do heal and become healthy in time. Certainly there are situations of abuse, mental issues, or other things that may not be reconciled. However, the average marriage problems can be helped and it's so very possible that your marriage can make it. Don't give up. Grow old together with your spouse as a part of a happy and healthy marriage.
About the Author:
Don't settle for a broken marriage! Get more information from B. Gregory about Couples Therapy. Or, for more on Marriage Counseling, read some of the Dema McCrae articles. You can keep your marriage and keep it healthy and stable!