For a relationship to remain healthy and last, it is important that there be good communication skills for couples that are used in order to strengthen it and allow it to blossom. Being able to communicate well takes more than just talk and listening. It also means each person needs to have a good attitude towards everything otherwise it can lead to hurt emotions and struggles between one another which can even lead to the end of the relationship.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Before a person sends a complaint to someone it is always a good idea to ask when it would be a good time to have a discussion about a current concern they have. If the present time is not good then politely ask when there would be a better time. Understand you are going to want your spouse or partner to listen to you with patience and they are not going to do so if they have other things on their mind or on their schedule to do.
When you do have the attention of your partner do not be bringing long list of complaints with you to the discussion. You should always try and stick with one current concern. If you approach them with a huge list of complaints you might as well not even waste your time talking.
You need to stay focused on the true feelings. Your partner needs to be able to see exactly how you are affected emotionally. A good example of this might be a concern about them never calling when they are going to be late. You really do not want to say You never call when you are going to be late and that really makes me feel like you are inconsiderate and do not care about my feelings. A better way of focusing on your feelings is to say When you do not call me when you plan on being late I really get worried about you.
Your goal should be to try and simply be heard so that they do not feel like you are pressuring them to fix something on the spot. By making them feel like you are demanding that they come up with a solution on the spot is only going to make them go on the defense. Give them the opportunity to think about what you have said and allow them to take the initiative to come up with a solution.
Listening is so important when it comes to communication. This means really listening and not taking any offense to what is being said. When people feel offended they shut down. If you are the person who is receiving a complaint understand that healthy communication is not about who is wrong and who is right, it is about really understanding how both parties really feel.
The key to good communication skills for couples is their willingness to let each partner speak while the other one listens. No one likes to be interrupted especially if they need their feelings to be heard.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Before a person sends a complaint to someone it is always a good idea to ask when it would be a good time to have a discussion about a current concern they have. If the present time is not good then politely ask when there would be a better time. Understand you are going to want your spouse or partner to listen to you with patience and they are not going to do so if they have other things on their mind or on their schedule to do.
When you do have the attention of your partner do not be bringing long list of complaints with you to the discussion. You should always try and stick with one current concern. If you approach them with a huge list of complaints you might as well not even waste your time talking.
You need to stay focused on the true feelings. Your partner needs to be able to see exactly how you are affected emotionally. A good example of this might be a concern about them never calling when they are going to be late. You really do not want to say You never call when you are going to be late and that really makes me feel like you are inconsiderate and do not care about my feelings. A better way of focusing on your feelings is to say When you do not call me when you plan on being late I really get worried about you.
Your goal should be to try and simply be heard so that they do not feel like you are pressuring them to fix something on the spot. By making them feel like you are demanding that they come up with a solution on the spot is only going to make them go on the defense. Give them the opportunity to think about what you have said and allow them to take the initiative to come up with a solution.
Listening is so important when it comes to communication. This means really listening and not taking any offense to what is being said. When people feel offended they shut down. If you are the person who is receiving a complaint understand that healthy communication is not about who is wrong and who is right, it is about really understanding how both parties really feel.
The key to good communication skills for couples is their willingness to let each partner speak while the other one listens. No one likes to be interrupted especially if they need their feelings to be heard.
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